Annie Clements Music

Nosy Neighbor

Posted on 07. Mar, 2005 by annie in Notebook

So my boyfriend and I recently moved into an apartment and we have this really awesome old crabster woman named Phyllis who lives next door. She’s gotta be about 70 but still dyes her hair jet black and peeks through the cracks in the blinds at us. She came outside yesterday when Andre and I were hanging Jazzfest lights out on the porch and started saying, “Oh, I could never climb a ladder; I’m a senior citizen! I’ve been meaning to hang some new blinds in my kitchen, but you know…” Of course we had to interrupt her and offer to help her with her blinds. She immediately pounced on the offer. “Oh yes, you’re young and strong. You could do it couldn’t you?” It was really awesome. Then she started telling us about how she owned some “Weenie” dogs back in the day but she had to give one away because he kept charging at her. She said, “I found myself saying a prayer for my lost dog Tabitha, but not that Clifford! Oh, never a prayer for Clifford!” She’s also been hard at work praying that the Whole Foods by our house doesn’t close. “God has the last word on this, mark my words. And also, I called the main office in Austin and told them they’d better watch out. That new location in Metairie will flood in second. I told them they might as well just close the store when it rains and that they’d better invest in some canoes. God will have the last word on this!” So if the new Whole foods is razed to the ground by a flood, we’ll all know who to blame.
Don’t forget to come to the Neutral Ground tomorrow @ 7pm for my show with my friend Kelly Buchanan. She’s a friend of mine for college who is now a singer/songwriter in NYC. Be warned; her material is not for the faint of heart. I got in a big fight with her once because she wanted me to sing harmony on the lyric “Baby when the lights go down, you get me dripping like a monsoon.” Be there, stay dry… Clem