Annie Clements Music

Tom Jones/ACM Awards

Posted on 31. May, 2008 by annie in Notebook

Red Alert: I have a new obsession. It’s Tom Jones.

I was on the bus after a show about a week before the ACM awards and we were all settling in to watch a DVD of the show we had just played and make fun of ourselves on TV, which is what we do every night, when something magical happened.

We turned on the TV and low and behold it’s a live concert featuring Tom Jones in his native country of Wales (who knew?) being backed by this slammin’ band and wildly wiggling background singers. It made me reminisce about my days in college as a wildly wiggling background singer in the Tower of Power ensemble. (I display some of the old Tower of Power dance moves briefly in the “Life in a Northern Town” video.) Here on television was the culmination and fruition of those long lost days of yore. I began to freak out. Much to the annoyance of everyone I refused to let anyone near the remote and we all sat there for another hour as I flapped around the bus, shouting at the television and the rest of the band about how this was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

5 days later we rolled into the MGM Grand Hotel in Vegas for the ACM Awards. I dragged my suitcase up to my room, plopped down on my hotel bed and noticed the Weekly Events calender on the pillow next to me. My heart stopped. Who should happen to be in the middle of a 22 night-stand at the MGM Ballroom? You guessed it; Tom Jones. I sprang up off the bed and phoned Hellen, our tour manager.

Hellen: Hello?

Me: (panting) Ok, Ok, Hellen, it’s me, Clem. Listen, I’m in a complete panic. Ok. Guess….Who….Is….Playing…..Here…..Tonight….IntheMGMGrandBallroom????!!!!?????

Hellen: Clem, calm down. I know; it’s Tom Jones. I was afraid you were going to ask me about it. I’m already looking into tickets for you.

The thing that cannot be stressed enough is that at this point I’ve been a fan of Tom Jones for about 5 days total and EVERYBODY knows it and are already anticipating my Tom Jones needs. It’s pretty sick.

After hanging up with Hellen I start pacing frantically around the hotel room ringing my hands, unable to believe my good fortune. Hellen calls back. She’s got 5 tickets to Tom Jones! I can’t wait to get to soundcheck to tell the band about the terrific evening in store for them!

Cut to soundcheck: I’m standing on a sparkling snow-white riser watching rose petals fall from the ceiling, arguing with a band-mate who shall remain nameless (whose position was on the riser directly behind mine at the ACM performance) who for some unfathomable reason is not INTERESTED in going to see Tom Jones. He said that if someone were able to score us some comp tickets to a show he’d rather go to Cirque De Soleil. “Cirque De So-Lame” I said heatedly.

But as future events unfolded it became clear that he had made a wise decision.

7p.m. Showtime. Sweet-accommodating-and-tolerant Thad and I are escorted to a table in the 2nd row, front and center of the ballroom! Here’s where things start to go wrong. The usher leads us to a four-person semi-circular table where an older couple is already seated but they’ve left an empty chair between them. Hmm.. The usher says pleasantly “Hello. These two folks will be joining you at your table tonight. Please make them feel welcome,” and walks away. The man gives no sign of acknowledging our presence and makes no attempt to take the seat next to his wife. Thad and I stand there awkwardly, not sure what to do. His poor wife mutters “I’m so sorry. He’s not usually like this,” and manages to coax him into actually sitting next to her. We sit down and try to make polite conversation. It’s terribly awkward. We finally concede that we’re in Sugarland and the climate improves somewhat. At least, the man is now excited to be sharing a table with us but proceeds to ridicule his wife for not knowing who Sugarland is. I wanted to take her aside and advise her to file for divorce. I slowly realized that the theater was in fact a sea of couples like this one; bored, disgruntled men and mildly interested-looking women, nobody under the age of 55. Hmm… I’m not sure Tom’s gonna be happy about this.

Cue the band… The curtain rises. Wait a minute! Where’s the slammin’ band from the TV show? These guys are reading charts! My world is unraveling fast. Still, I’m extremely excited and feel obligated to turn to our unfortunate table mates and warn them that I’m probably going to be freaking out for the entire show. This comment is met with blank stares. As the music and momentum builds for Tom’s entrance I start clapping along and swaying side to side. I’m the only one in the theater doing this. Everyone else is wearing the same blank stare as Mr. Grumpy-pants and his down-trodden wife.

Here it is! The big moment! Tom takes the stage! Within 10 seconds it becomes clear that he’s found a way to deal with the task of entertaining 500 angry geriatric couples who’ve likely lost most of their retirement to the MGM Grand casino; he’s stinking drunk.

His eyes are blood shot and he spends the first minute of the song squinting at the audience and then opening his eyes wide and then going back to squinting over and over again. It looks really silly. His skin is a deep, tanning bed brown and his chest is well oiled, sporting a substantial tuft of course black hair and a shiny gold medallion. He wanders around the stage awhile, squinting and looking sort of confused about the fact that he’s actually playing a show. It doesn’t matter. I cried anyway. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until I turned to Thad to hit him repeatedly, overcome with excitement, and he pointed it out to me.

“By gum,” I said. “So I am.”

The show improved as Tom sobered up. He does a killer cover of Prince’s “Kiss” and his song “Sex Bomb” is quickly becoming a favorite. The best part though was the slow change of the audience’s attitude. Well, the women in the audience at any rate. When he kicks off “She’s a Lady,” a few women actually stand up and start tossing panties at him. I didn’t realize it, but apparently this is an ancient Tom Jones tradition. Thankfully, they appeared to be brand new pairs of panties. At one point a woman who was 60 years-young stood up so Tom could sing to her. He rocked her world for a few bars and then started walking around to the other side of the stage, working the rest of the room. Instead of sitting back down, the woman tried to follow his lead and stumbled over other audience members trying to keep up with Tom. She chased him around for most of the song but Tom is pretty light on his feet and was able to evade her. It was pretty ridiculous but I was grateful that someone else was as enthusiastic as I was.

After the show I wanted to stick around for as long as possible, certain that the band was sure to come back out on stage, at which point I’d tell them I was in Sugarland and they’d become my best friends and take me backstage to meet Tom Jones. That’s when I realized that I was truly a fanatic. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I sometimes see folks after the show waiting by Jen and Kristian’s bus, hoping to catch a glimpse and I always wonder why they’re doing that. Don’t they want to go to bed? Wouldn’t they like something other than nachos, popcorn or hotdogs to eat? Well now I totally get it. And I wish you all good luck. I hung around for as long as Thad would let me and then left, defeated. Still, it was a magical night in Vegas and I’m forever a die-hard Tom Jones fan.

Oh, and the ACM’s were a lot of fun too…